Men’s Struggles with Online Dating Masks a Deeper Problem

Photo by Lukas Rychvalsky from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-standing-near-lake-670720/

Online dating is weird, (mostly) pointless, and quasi dystopian.

All those supposed “success stories” those websites like to post? Probably fake. Or extreme outliers. Like blue lobsters. Marketing gimmicks to keep you subscribed.

The only real winners in the online dating world are the conglomerate websites. The proverbial picks and shovels sellers in this modern romance gold rush. They’re literally making billions off your yearning hearts. Cock teasing men is big business.

We already know that online dating is a venue that mostly benefits hot guys. For the uber attractive (top 5% of guys?), online dating is a fun playground. To which I say, good for them. Everyone leverages their advantages where they can.

But if you’re like most men, online dating is just a vast time suck. An exercise in futility. You shoot dozens of messages into the cyber void. Then don’t hear back. Even after spending whole minutes on messages, crafting them with attention and care. You’re not going to be like those other guys who just write things like “‘sup?” or “DTF?” You’re going to put actual thought into what you say.

Of course, the reality is most women receive dozens of messages a day. Or even hundreds, if they’re hot. Shakespeare himself couldn’t craft a sonnet steamy enough to overcome that kind of inbox inundation.

So you get depressed. You give up. Only to return, like a relapsed crack addict, back to the seductive siren call of the online dating world, weeks or months later. You think this time it’ll work out. This time your magical pixie sex-loving soulmate will appear. The cycle of failure begins again. And another dating service gets a billion dollar IPO on Wall Street.

Here’s the deal. If you’re relying on online dating to find a mate, that’s like relying on fast food for nourishment. Yeah, you can do it for a short time. But any longer and you’ll just end up killing yourself.

Online dating is stupid. Online dating has become a crutch for too many men. Online dating has become a poor substitute for actual, genuine communication and interaction. It’s fundamentally anti-human nature, which is why it really doesn’t work.

It’s also retarding the personal growth of many men. It’s helped to create a generation of poorly socialized incel losers.

In the quest for a mate, there are two factors that matter most. PROXIMITY and PERSONALITY.

Proximity. Meaning your physical social circle. Your friends and acquaintances. The people you see and talk to in-person throughout the week. Your neighborhood. The people you live near. Go to school with. Etc.

I used to work with a guy who grew up in a super small town in North Dakota. He married his high school sweetheart at 18. He has one kid, and another one on the way. Now, do you think he was able to get married and build a family at such a young age because he’s some charming swooner? No. Dude is below average-looking at best, beer-bellied, and has a mullet. But he was able to pull off the gig purely because he and his future wife graduated in a high school class of like 12 people. There was nothing special about him particularly. But he was familiar and known to her. He was one of the few candidates in close proximity to her. So, by default, Mr. Mullet Man won out. Put any other dude in that position, and the results would likely be the same for that other guy.

Personality. This is obvious. The better personality you have, the bigger net you’ll cast. Especially if you have a good sense of humor, or just put off a good vibe. There are few things better than finding out you click with someone over the course of a conversation.

Here’s the problem. Online dating eliminates those crucial features of proximity and personality that are so essential to finding a mate. Instead, it puts a digital gate up between you and everyone else via a computer/smartphone screen.

It’s much harder for your personality to shine through in a mere profile summary. Inflection, tone, subtext, and your overall vibe often get lost in translation.

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I had a girlfriend one time who I was initially attracted to because of her voice. She had this sweet but firm “museum curator” like tone of voice that I really liked hearing. And when she talked, the tip of her nose bounced up and down in this really cute way that I loved watching.

How in hell does a dating profile convey one’s voice or something as uniquely attractive as the way the tip of one’s nose bounces when they talk? It doesn’t. Those were things I only noticed because I knew this girl in person.

Online dating has unconsciously trained men to be lazy, and take an easy short-cut to find a potential mate. The failure of online date is not a bug; it’s a feature.

It also dehumanizes people down to a scramble of pixels. And it’s very easy to dismiss (swipe left) a mere digital specter on your screen.

I found myself realizing this some time ago as I was scrolling through a gallery of women on a dating app. I caught myself mindlessly nexting one after another. Dismissing potential mates for the most superficial and silly of reasons. Reacting to visual stimuli from my lizard brain with guttural caveman responses. “Me not like her hair style.” “Ugh, shoulders too broad.” “Too tall, me not like.”

No doubt the same has been done to me hundreds of times.

I did a thought experiment. Out of all the women I’ve messaged who never responded, how many of them might have been more receptive if I was in their proximity? What if I was like Mr. Mullet Man above, so to speak?

I suspect the answer is I would fare much better. Any time I’ve ever been in a social setting — school, workplace, church, etc. — I’ve never had issues with meeting or attracting women. I don’t have a standout personality or anything. And looks-wise, I’m average at best. But I’ve never lacked for admirers when in a good, diverse social environment, as I suspect is the case for many other men, too.

And how many women have I nexted on a dating app that might have been good partners in real life have I missed out on? How many cute nose tip bouncers have I potentially overlooked?

So why waste time with online dating apps that don’t allow the average man to play to his strengths?

As I’ve gotten older, and my social circles have shrunk, or in some cases, disappeared, so have the opportunities for finding potential mates. This is one of the struggles with adulthood post-college, and in entering middle-age.

In response, many have turned to the dead end of dating apps as a supposed solution. But for most that’s really just setting yourself up for failure, because it causes you to ignore the two primary factors of proximity and personality mentioned above.

So men who continually fail at online dating start to give up hope, and feel like failures in life in general, when that is not the case. Really, social media overall has caused people to be far too hard on themselves in judging their social status.

The problem is not online dating. That just masks a bigger issue. It’s poor social skills. It’s not having a good circle of friends. It’s the modern problem of becoming trapped behind a computer screen, and everyone’s digital avatar becoming the substitute for their actual being.

So many men have become dependent on online dating, that it’s crippled their ability to function in real life.

The reason why incels exist, and why there are so many lonely single men these days, is not because women’s standards are too high. It’s not because hot chads are out there dominating, making it impossible for the common uggo to have a fighting chance. It’s because so many men can’t communicate or socialize properly at even a basic level. It’s like they’ve forgotten how.

This is not an endorsement of the pick up artist lifestyle. Nor am I saying that online dating is a total waste. It’s a supplement at best. It can work.

This is about simply being human and interacting with other people in healthy social environments. Something that has become harder to do these days. The pandemic only made it worse.

I think if men focus on building genuine social networks first, then the opportunities for finding mates will quickly follow.

Afterall, no matter who you are, or what you look like, you possess some unique nose-tip-bouncing quality that someone finds endearing. But it’s going to be almost impossible to find that someone if you never actually meet in real life.

Three Oilfield Jobs That Pay $80k+ With Little or No Experience

A detailed breakdown of three little known but well-paying oilfield occupations.


Photo taken by author.

Since moving to North Dakota in 2012 to get in on the oil boom, I’ve spent a cumulative 7 years in the oilfield. I’ve held a number of different jobs in the industry, some of which I had no idea even existed until I moved up here. 

While the fracking boom that kicked off the explosive growth in the Bakken region back in the mid-2000s through the 2014 has settled into maturity, oil prices currently remain high. As do many job opportunities. And some fields like the Permian Basin in West Texas remain active and growing.

The unique thing about the oilfield is that there are many entry-level positions that pay extremely well, but don’t require much, or even any experience. Whereas many other industries are prone to gatekeeping, requiring a degree or specialized training, the oilfield is generally very open to newcomers.

The pay is usually well above average. Just be willing to work hard and (possibly) get dirty. You may also have to move to a new state. I had to move 1,700 miles from Philadelphia to North Dakota myself. A difficult adjustment for sure, but it’s proven financially rewarding. 

The jobs I’m going to talk about here can mainly be found in North Dakota, Colorado, West Texas, and New Mexico. Though there are many other oilfield and natural gas plays throughout the country, like the Marcellus Shale, that cuts through eastern Ohio into Pennsylvania up to New York State. And even California, which is dotted with hidden pump jacks throughout Los Angles.

If you’re looking for work, or looking to make a career change into the energy industry, these three occupations might provide you with a good place to start. Each of them potentially pay above the U.S. average and median income. The first two are jobs that I’ve done myself. 

It can be really scary and daunting to get into a new industry. But it doesn’t have to be. Hopefully, this article will be a helpful guide.

Lease Operator (aka “Pumper”)

This is an entry level position that’s part tech and part mechanic. A pumper is given a route of oil wells to oversee. Basically, your job is to make sure everything runs smoothly, safely, and that the oil gets sold.

Pumper was my second job in the oilfield. A postion I held for two and a half years. For people looking to procure long-term employment in the oil industry, but don’t have a degree in something like geology or engineering, this is a great place to start.

The training process is mostly hands-on, though there are some schools that might offer classroom instruction in pumping that can help prepare you for working live in the field. But it’s mostly something you’ll learn on the job (as are many positions in the oilfield).

As a pumper, you’ll not only manage your own route of wells, but most likely assist other pumpers in the field, coordinate and oversee roustabout projects, act as a liasion between operations in the field and management back in the office, and communicate the status of sale tanks with oil buyers. There is quite a bit of communication required in this role, and sometimes it can feel like you’re a customer service rep at a phone center.

You’ll also be a meter reader, and collect data from a large piece of equipment known as a LACT. That stands for Lease Automatic Custody Transfer. Basically, a LACT unit automatically samples and ships the oil down through the pipeline directly from the tanks. Oil companies are increasingly using LACTs as a form of automation, especially on sites that produce significant quantities of oil. 

You’ll be the first one on the scene to a site, and the one primarily responsible for detecting any mechanical or safety concerns.

Pumping can at times be taxing, requiring a lot of late days, nightly call-outs, and overtime, especially when you have a lot of active wells. Sometimes it can be messy, especially if you have an oil spill or some kind of clean-up to deal with. There’s almost always something to be done on a site.

But pumping can also be rewarding. It offers a lot of freedom and independence. You largely work on your own, in a company work truck, without any bosses hovering over your shoulder. You’ll also work outdoors in all sorts of weather. So if you dislike working in a cubicle farm like I do, pumping might be a good option.

Schedule

I worked an 8×4 and 7×2 schedule during the daytime, and I’ve found since that that is a very typical schedule for many companies. Basically, you work eight days straight, then have a four day weekend. When you come back, you work seven days straight, then have two days off. Then you restart the eight-day portion again. So you get a four-day weekend every three weeks. This makes vacation time longer, too, as you can stack your PTO days at the end of you four says off, in-between your two days off. Gaining an extra six days of vacation on top of your paid days off. Not a bad deal. 

I’ve also seen schedules like 7 days on, 7 days off, 10 days on, 4 days off, and even the normal 5 days on, 2 days off deal you typically see in your traditional 9–5 type office job. Every oil company is different. 

Pay

This is largely dependent on what area of the country you work in, and the company, as well as what level of experience you’ve achieved. But even entry-level with little to no experience in the oilfield you can see a starting salary around $50-$70k+ base, with overtime. That’s a pretty remarkable starting salary for little experience relative to many other positions.

Pay also depends on the state of the oil industry overall, and whether a particular region is growing or has reached a plateau. Right now, with oil prices high, it’s a great time to look for opportunities as a pumper, as many companies have started drilling new wells again. But remember that price swings can work against you. If oil falls, companies can start to tighten up spending and hiring, and that can eat into your overtime and other benefits.

Lease Operator/Pumper is a good starting position in the oil industry that can lead to a lot of opportunities. It isn’t as physically demanding as a roustabout or a workover rig position, positions that often have long hours and grueling physical work. During my few years as a pumper, I saw people of all ages and backgrounds in the position, including single moms, college grads, and even a retired chiropractor.

Many times people think that to work in the oilfield you have to be some tough guy roughneck or something. Rest assured, that is not the case. Many positions in the field, including pumping, are very much accessible to everyone. 

Photo taken by author.

Gauger

If working as a pumper sounds too intense and involved, then the gauger position might be perfect for you. This is a very niche position that few people know about. 

A gauger generally works for a pipeline company, and is mainly responsible for shipping the oil sale tanks on a customer lease site down the pipeline. 

You’ll also coordinate alongside the pumper, who will usually be the one notifying you about tanks ready for shipping.

But before shipping any oil, there’s a little chemistry involved. First, an oil tank has to be measured, sampled, and secured. The gauging aspect refers to the important steps of collecting the necessary data about the oil.

A gauger uses a gauge tape (like a long tape measure) to measure the height of the oil in the tank. Afterwards, they collect a few ounces worth of samples from the top and bottom of the tank. During this, they’ll also be collecting the gravity (basically the density of the oil) and temperature. This data is crucial to determining the oil’s quality, as well as determining the proper barrel count. At about $90+ a barrel currently, being off even a little bit can cost quite a bit of money.

A typical oil tank can hold around 400–500 barrels of oil, but generally a pumper will close off a tank when it’s no more than 2/3rds full. So let’s say you have 300 barrels of oil. At the current price, that comes out to about $27,000.

As a gauger, you are basically creating the company’s bottom line. So it’s vital to collect accurate information.

To test the oil, a gauger will use a centrifuge and a solvent mix to shake out any base sediment or water. This is done to ensure the oil has a certain standard of quality that’s acceptable to ship. It’s a simple process, but an important one.

Next, after determining that the oil is good to go, a gauger will prepare the tank for sale by opening up the proper valves, and activating the pumps. Generally, there will be a pump, or set of pumps, installed on site alongside the tanks. These pumps help ship the oil miles underground through a network of pipes, until it reaches a gathering station. It becomes a bit complicated from there, but basically the pipeline company is helping the oil company ship their oil into the market.

Like the pumper, gaugers also check on LACT units, record data, and perform any maintenance required. 

Shipping through an oil pipeline is actually the most efficient and safest way to transport oil. It beats rail and truck quite handidly. There are thousands of miles of oil and natural gas pipeline all across the the country, moving millions of barrels around every year. As a gauger, you get to be part of the nations energy “cardiovascular system,” so to speak. A task that’s especially vital these days with higher oil prices and tighter oil availability.

Schedule

A starting gauger will, just like a pumper, generally work on a rotating shift. When I was a gauger, I had a fantastic schedule. Eight days on, then six days off. However, I’ve also heard of some places that offer two weeks on and two weeks off. That can be a great set-up for someone who has family living elsewhere, giving you plenty of time on your days off to enjoy time at home. 

Pay

Also like the pumper position, this will vary depending on where you work. In the Bakken region, I saw gauger positions start off at around $60k+ a year, and depending on the amount of OT, that could get you to the $80k mark or even higher. As I mentioned above, the gauger position is pretty niche. I like to think of it as a diamond in the rough. It generally comes with a great schedule, and the work load is pretty low-key. During my time as a gauger, I also saw all types of people come and go. Though I noticed that the position tended to skew middle-aged or older. It’s a great job for someone who doesn’t want a lot of physical demands, while still making good money.  

Flowback Operator

This last job is not one I’ve done myself, but as a former pumper and gauger, I’ve interacted with plenty of people who do it. When a recently fracked well opens, it can produce massive and unpredictable amounts of oil, gas, and salt water.

A flowback operator watches a new well site, makes sure the oil stays flowing into the tanks, closes tanks off when they are ready for sale, and ensures the safe and efficient flow of the well.

A fracked well typically does its biggest production numbers right after it opens, but falls off quickly after a few weeks or months. This early busy period oftentimes requires 24/7 oversight by a flowback crew.

As a flowback operator, you may possibly work with someone else if it’s a big enough well. But most likely you’ll be working alone. You’ll spend your time inspecting equipment throughout the site to make sure everything is functioning properly, and of course checking on oil tank levels.

The most important aspect of the job is to prevent oil spills

If the oil you’re overseeing is pipelined in, you’ll be coordinating with gaugers and other personnel on the pipeline side to ensure that oil is shipped as it’s ready. If there’s a LACT unit on site, you’ll check to make sure it stays running as needed. If it’s not a pipelined well, you’ll be working with CDL-A oil haulers, who will be coming in and out constantly to pull oil.

Schedule

A new well is a busy and sometimes dangerous place. Flowback watch requires attention to detail and focus. Entry level base pay can range, but you make up for it with tons of overtime. Flowback operators often work on 12-hour rotating shifts. So you may work day side on one hitch, then work nights on the next. It’s not generally a laborious position. It can even be boring because you’re often just performing the same checklist activities again and again. But it can be very busy and the excess hours can wear you down.

Pay

As a brand new flowback operator you may not make that much per hour, but you will often work lots of OT. That can put you at the $40k-$50k range at base possibly, but up to $80k or even higher with the extra hours. 

It’s also important to point out that the position of flowback operator comes with certain hazards. This is not the safest job. Even with safety protocols, the gases and vapors coming out of a well are unpredictable. Oil wells, especially new ones, produce all sorts of toxic gases and fluid, and as the person overseeing the production, you will potentially be first exposed to these dangers.

Also, like the gauger and pumper positions, you’ll likely be required to work in lots of adverse conditions and environments. In North Dakota for instance, the winters get brutally cold, with wind chill temps in the negatives. Texas has the high heat, of course. While places like Colorado have the snow.


Finally, this list is not exhaustive. It’s a good starting point for anyone who’s looking to get started in the oilfield, and has little experience. There are some positions that pay as well or even higher. Jobs such as CDL driver or wireline operator. I didn’t include those, however, as they require either specialized training or certification, or usually some measure of experience before you make the bigger $80k plus money. 

A CDL-A frac sand hauler can make $100k+ as a company driver. An owner operator can make substantially more. As can a qualified wireline operator. But that job sometimes requires a CDL, as well as some additional training and experience. 

There are other gigs that can pay well with little or no experience, such as workover or drilling rig crew, or roustabout, as mentioned previously. Depending on the territory and demand, pay can be pretty decent for those positions. They are way more physically laborious than the three positions I talked about above. But if that’s something you’re okay with, then you could also explore those.

The oilfield is pretty accessible at the moment. So if you’re considering a change in careers, now would be a good time to make the jump. Hopefully, this article has helped. 

TikTok is Trying to Kill You

Photo by Mitja Juraja from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/close-up-photo-of-skull-970517/

TikTok is like some kind of fictional mind virus from a dystopian sci-fi novel. 

Except the video app with the psychedelic logo is quite real, and it often targets people with completely insane and sometimes even deadly hashtag trends. 

Like almost every social media app, TikTok operates on an algorithm, curating videos based on a user’s interests. 

But this is an evil algorithm. 

It targets the young. It targets children. The ones who make up most of TikTok’s user base. The app is quite intuitive at collating communities around addictive hashtags, which can lead users being exposed to all sorts of crazy shit. 

Sometimes, this can be a productive thing. For example, “BookTok,” TikTok’s highly active army of book worms, is transforming the publishing industry. I wrote about it in article here.

But goodness on TikTok is purely accidental. There’s also a very dark, very deadly, and very weird side to an app that seems to have sprung straight out of Satan’s asshole. 

Here are just a handful of ways TikTok is trying to kill you:

The Blackout Challenge

Originally known as the equally ominous “Choking Game,” this viral self-strangulation trend has claimed the lives of numerous children over the last few years. 

The idea is simple as it is ghastly. Participants are encouraged to choke themselves in order to to get high, or to fall unconscious, all while on video. People have used belts, ties, ropes, and other devices to purposefully hang themselves in the hunt for internet points. And it’s costing them their lives.

Last July, 2021, an eight-year old girl named Lalani Erika Walton hanged herself with a rope from her bed after absorbing hours of TikTok videos of others attempting the challenge.

Earlier that February, a nine-year old girl named Arriani Jaileen Arroyo also fell victim to the trend. She had used the family dog’s leash to hang herself. Her father found her unresponsive.  

Then later in March, there was a 12-year old boy named Joshua Haileyesus who was rushed to the hospital after being disovered unconscious by his twin brother. He spent 19 days on life support before finally passing away. 

As a child growing up in the ’90s, I remember learning about how you can purposefully choking yourself to get high. But back then you generally only found out about that stuff word of mouth, and usually from some weird kid in a torn up Metallica t-shirt who sat in the back of the class. 

But with TikTok , a bizarre and risky trend like that can spread faster than Covid on a NY subway. For many kids, who are highly impressionable, it seems thrilling and fun. They do it without knowing the enormous risks. And it’s killing them or injuring them for life.

The Fire Challenge

Scratch what I wrote above about TikTok being a dystopian mind virus. It’s more like a digital demon that possesses people.

This trend started from a user who sprayed hairspray onto a mirror, and then lit it on fire to create different designs. Imitators quickly spawned, including Nick Howell, another 12-year old, who wound up burning 35% of his body in March of this year, when he accidentally ignited a bottle of rubing alcohol.

In June of last year, a 13-year-old Oregon girl wound up in the hospital with severe burns on her body due to exploding a bottle of isopropyl alcohol in an effort to mimic the mirror trick. 

But if manipulating people into lighting themselves on fire isn’t ghastly enough, how about — 

The Eye Challenge

Which got people to put bleach in their eyes, which supposedly changes eye color. 

This one, like many of these TikTok fads, started off as a joke from some kid named Greg Lammers trying to show off his cool video editing skills. In his video, Lammers instructed viewers that if you fill a plastic bag with jelly, hand sanitizer, bleach, or shaving cream, and place the bag against an eye, it can change their eye color. After performing the deed, Lammers then cut to a new shot, showing off his supposedly changed eye color. Except he had actually used a contact lens (duh). 

While Lammers never expected his video to go viral, it did. To the tune of 300,000 likes, 25,000 chares, and 3,000+ comments. Imitators then started posting their own attempts at the technique, which only resulted in them burning their eyes. Big surprise. 

The Milk Crate Challenge

This trend blew up about a year ago. People made videos of themselves trying to scale pyramids of milk crates they had cobled together, which often resulted in them falling down and getting injured. Hospitals saw an influx of patients with cracked ribs and other broken bones over the course of the hashtag scourge.  

Like in all the previous deadly and dangerous trends, TikTok made sure to issue a statement about how the app supposedly:

Prohibits content that promotes or glorifies dangerous acts, and we remove videos and redirect searches to our Community Guidelines to discourage such content.

Right. “Prohibits.” Totally. 

The problem is that by the time a trend has become big enough to cause real damage, it’s too late. TikTok was the most popular app in 2021, having been downloaded 3 billion times, and having garnered a mind-blowing 1 billion users. 

One freaking billion! That’s one seventh the world population. 

About a quarter of TikTok users are children or teens ages 10–19, and the kiddos are spending roughly 75 minutes per day on the video-sharing app. Another statistic of note is that the majority of TikTok’s successful ads communicate their message or product immediately. As in like 3 seconds. 

In other words, TikTok is custom built for short attention spans. And because of its ravenously-obsessed youthful users base, a trend, however absurd or dangerous, can spread at the speed of human stupidity (which is WAY faster than light, contrary to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity). Millions of clips are posted daily, and users are often sucked into a rabbit hole of algorithmically curated videos designed to keep them hypnotized. 

There’s no logistical way TikTok could realistically govern or filter out a questionable trend because of the speed at which they grow through the app’s multiverse-sized ecosytem.

So, what is the solution, if any? 

I’m reminded of the thematic summation in the classic Mathew Broderick-starring 1983 film War Games about the Cold War threat of MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction.”

“The only winning move is not to play.”

The only way to beat TikTok is to delete the app, and make sure gullible kids can’t see it in the first place. 

Yeah, good luck with that. TikTok and all its poison, is here to stay.

Hot Blonde Bimbo Teachers Can’t Stop Fucking Kids

Source: Screenshot from Marka Bodine’s YouTube Channel

It’s become a real epidemic in this country. Worse than Covid. Worse than Monkeypox.

In U.S., we are currently suffering an outbreak of super cute, model-quality, bimbo, usully blonde, usually married teachers who can’t stop fucking their male students.

What the hell’s going on?

Now look, as a red-blooded American male, I could sit here and make the obvious joke, all while chortling like Beavis and Butt-head, “Herr-durr, why couldn’t I have had a teacher like that? These boys today are so lucky, heh-heh-heh.”

But this is no laughing matter. This is serious. Chris Hansen, where are you?

The latest episode of As the Hot Femme Pedo Turns completely blew my mind. Check out this summary from Breitbart about 32-year old Marka Bodine:

A former Texas sixth grade teacher will spend two months in prison for having a three-year relationship with one of her students, who was between the ages of 12 and 15 at the time. She will be given until June 2023 to surrender for her brief prison sentence due to the recent birth of her child.

The screenshot source above is no typo. Ms. Bodine has a YouTube channel. There are only a few videos, but it seems she did some for online learning during Covid lockdown. In the video I took the screenshot from, “Week of 3–30–20,” she instructs her students to come up with a “hashtag summary that describes your week.”

Hmm, wonder what sort of hashtag would best describe Ms. Bodine’s last few days. How about #pedoteachergetsoffeasybecauseshesfemale? Too long?

The case against Ms. Bodine started last year. According to affadavits, she went to the principal at her school, Tomball ISD north of Houston, to complain about a 16-year old student of hers who was harassing her and threatening to harm himself.

During the investigation, the student admitted that he’d had a sexual relationship with the teacher that had started when he was 12. The two initially started messaging through Fortnite, then progressed into texting. The relationship turned sexual sometime after the child’s 13th birthday, and continued for several years afterward. She sent 40 nude images to the child, and even moved into the same apartment complex as him. The two had dalliances in her classroom and her car.

Source: Spurstalk

Prosecutors were seeking a minimum of 20 years in prison for the teacher. But in a bad M. Night Shyamalan twist, Ms. Bodine was only handed TWO MONTHS in prison and ten years probation. She doesn’t even have to go to prison right away, due to the recent birth of her child.

Oh yeah, she was preggo, but NOT with her victim’s child. Her huband’s. Who is now her ex-husband.

Damn, imagine getting cucked by a 13-year old. If that ever happend to me, I wouldn’t just get divorced, I’d change my name, get plastic surgery Michael Jackson-style, and move to Brazil.

Ms. Bodine has until June of 2023 to report to prison, giving her a whole year to destroy another innocent life. A ridiculously light sentence when you consider that some of the male perverts snagged on Chris Hansen’s classic To Catch a Predator, and the reboot Hansen Vs. Predator, served years in prison for visiting a decoy after sending explicit texts, without ever having had a physical relationship with an actual flesh and blood minor.

Ms. Bodine banged this kid for three years and only got two months and probation. WTF?

What’s disturbing about this case isn’t just that Ms. Bodine preyed on this child starting from the time he was 12, it’s that she evidently fucked him up so badly psychologically that he threatened to harm himself. There are few intimate details about the nature of the relationship, but it’s not hard to imagine that the kid became helplessly infatuated. Might she have even put off the relationship due to her pregnancy, resulting in the boy’s subsequent mental breakdown? Who knows.

Source: Spurstalk

Of course, this isn’t the first time a blonde bimbo teacher has shagged a minor. It’s become somewhat of a cliche at this point. The website Zimbio has a article titled, “The 50 Most Infamous Female Teacher Sex Scandals.”

Probably the most famous scandal is Mary Kay Letourneau, a Seattle elementary school teacher, who began a relationship with a 13-year old boy way back in 1996. She became pregnant from the teen and gave birth to a girl the following year, after the illicit affair had been discovered. Then she got pregnant again in 1998 with a second daughter from her underage lover. After serving a prison term, Letourneau then actually married her former victim. The couple even threw a “Hot for Teacher Night” at a Seattle bar.

Then there’s the case of Debra Lafave, a 23-year old former model turned Florida teacher who got arrested in 2004 for having sex with with a 14-year old boy. This one gobbled up a ton of media fenzy. Ms. Lafave tried to plead not guilty due to insanity, as she evidently had bipolar disorder. When that didn’t work, her defense attorney even tried to argue that his client was too pretty to go to jail. She later received house arrest, probation, and was forced to register as a sex offender. Later she would whine to Matt Lauer on a Dateline interview about how, like, it’s so hard for her to accept the fact that she’s a predator teacher.

Years later, Matt Lauer would himself get fired from NBC for “inappropriate sexual behavior in the workplace.”

Which means that Dateline interview may mark the first time where a major network TV report took place in which 100% of the people shown on your screen were psychosexuals.

Source: Dateline NBC

Who knew pervs were such camera hogs, too?

Marka Bodine is just the latest episode in an ongoing sordid trend that’s been largely marginalized and humorized from late night talk shows to Van Halen songs.

For sure, some of the teachers caught for raping minors receive just sentences. But for the most part they get far more leniency than a male predator ever would. And this is even after flagrant and prolonged relationships with minors.

Why the double standard? Why does society put female predators, especially attractive ones, on a pedastal? Why are female child rapists like Lafave given comfortable TV interviews, while male child rapists are treated like a dangerus virus under glass?

Part of it probably comes from a broad societal inability to perceive women as anything but victims when it comes to illicit sexual activity. Obviously, in nearly all sexual assault cases, women are the victims. Women simply “can’t” be the aggressors due to the biological aspect of sexual intercourse.

This makes the cases of female teachers banging minors outliers. They’re seen more as a curiosity than as a legitimate crime.

But there’s another aspect. In many of these cases, I noticed that the female teachers often maintained an ongoing “normal-esque” relationship with their underage victim, which makes it seem like both parties were fully consenting. Of course, a child cannot give consent, even if it is a horny willing male with raging hormones.

Rather than being perceived for what it is — a horrendous sex crime, these female teachers are often excused for falling victim to temptation.

Why I Don’t Drink Alcohol

Photo by Marta Dzedyshko from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/cognac-on-cut-glass-bottom-placed-on-table-6341420/

Except very rarely, as in once a year.

The Acceptable Poison 

I could probably count on one hand how many alcoholic drinks I’ve had in the past six years. Drinking is like my Halley’s Comet.

I remain steadfastly unswayed by the festive environments of Christmas, New Year’s, St. Patrick’s Day, and my birthday. 

Even watching my beloved Eagles win the Super Bowl four years ago was a dry affair. I only had one beer — the East Coast favorite Yuengling — the next day, during lunch, and only because a family member paid for it.

This is apparently “bizarre” and “abnormal” behavior, even for someone middle-aged like myself. Commercials (especially during NFL season) constantly tell me how freaking AWESOME it is to drink, and how good-looking drinkers are, and how it’s maybe even actually healthy. Every once in a while some article pops up touting the benefits of drinking a glass of wine a day. No doubt paid for by Big Grape.

Maybe drinking alcohol in moderation is healthy. It’s no doubt a good social lubricant. You see all those happy couples out there strolling down the sidewalk and holding hands? I bet half of them are only together because of alcohol. According to Jerry Seinfeld, it’s the only way ugly people can date.

Guess that means there’s no hope for me. 

::sad slide whistle::

The “Twilight Zone Realization”

It wasn’t always like this. Seven years ago, I used to drink strongly and regularly. Brandy was my drink of choice. I liked it because it’s heavy and warm. I find beer too fizzy, stimulative, and inconsequential. Beer is like the fast food of drinks. Mixed drinks like rum or vodka are too “party mode” for my liking.

But brandy. VSOP. Middle shelf quality. The honey-brown bottle with the blue label felt like a little trophy in my hand on my twice-weekly trips to the liquor store. Occasionally I’d sample the top-shelf cognac buys when I felt my liver needed something higher class. 

Brandy was perfect for me. It felt right. Classy. Aristrocratic, even.

Said Benjamin Guggenheim on the Titanic: “We are dressed in our best and prepared to go down like gentlemen. But we would like a brandy.”

One of my favorite movie quotes. Though soon it would prove a sad metaphor for my life. Guy, sitting there alone, enjoying a drink, while everything around him sinks. 

Unlike beer, which intoxicates you incrementally. Or party drinks, that bomb you into submission. Brandy’s effect is subtle, cumulative, and compounding. Almost tranquil. It sneaks up on you.

You can sip brandy and gently coast away into oblivion. 

But after a while I came to one of those “Twilight Zone realizations.” You know, where the main character finally figures out what’s really going on, and their whole world gets upended.

I realized I was using alcohol as a crutch. As an escape hatch from reality. And that rather than it enhancing my life in any way, it was actually causing me to atrophy and isolate.

In low moderation, alcohol can be a fun spice. But for the most part, it’s like a garrote slowly squeezing the life out of you.

Alcohol deadens the senses. It distracts you from improving and adapting your situation.

So, I quit. Not gradually. Immediately. 

I’m a good quitter. I had quit smoking cigarettes almost ten years before, cold turkey. Believe me, it wasn’t easy giving up my Lucky Strikes. 

At the time, I couldn’t exactly articulate why I needed to quit. I just knew I had to. I don’t think I was technically an alcoholic. I would sometimes go on “purges” for days or even weeks, before eventually returning to Inebriation Island. And once I started back up, it never stopped at just one drink. 

But I could have “quit anytime I wanted.” I mean, sort of. 

Alcohol no doubt was exerting far too much gravity in my life. But not all the reasons I quit were noble or life affirming. Some were just practical. Some were even vain. But here they are:

Seven and a Half Reasons Why I Don’t Drink (except very rarely)

1.) I’m cheap as hell.

I don’t like spending money on frivilous things. And for me, alcohol is about as frivilous as you can get. You’re blowing wads of cash on bitter-tasting flavored water that will just give you a headache. I think my brandy used to cost me $16–$18 a bottle. At twice weekly, that was almost $40. $160 a month. Not big money, sure. Some people spend that on porn subscriptions. But it’s money for which you get nothing of value back in return. At least if you throw money away on lottery tickets there’s a microscopic chance you jump a few tax brackets. But booze? It’s guaranteed waste. 

And that’s even if you’re a budget-conscious drinker, like I was, and you imbibe at home. If you go out to bars and clubs, the costs can balloon ridiculously.  

2.) I don’t like feeling like shit.

Maybe alcohol doesn’t agree with me on a genetic level. Some people mix with it, others don’t. Alcohol doesn’t make me want to party or hang out with people. It generally just makes me tired, and when drank to excess, it is guaranteed to make me feel like terrible the next day. Who wants to feel like they got run over by a steamroller when they wake up in the morning?

In addition to the physical side effects, there are the mental ones, too. Drying out during the day always made me feel anxious and volatile. Because drinking dehydrates you, the whole next day you’re playing the hydration catch-up game to get yourself back to equilibrium. And since you’re technically in chemical withdrawal, you tend to rush through things so you can get back to the bottle. It’s a cruel cycle. Even though you know it’s wrecking you, you have to keep it going in order to feel “normal.”

3.) I like to (try) get a good night’s rest.

Alcohol interrupts your brain’s ability to get deep sleep. The brain needs that serious downtime in order to “wash” itself. No joke. The brain emits cerebrospinal fluid like a car wash all over your cranial lobes while you sleep. Think of it as cleaning out the gunk between the gears of your mind. But even small amounts of alcohol can blow up that cycle, and make it impossible for your brain to scrub itself clean. What happens when you don’t change your car’s oil filters regularly? Your engine eventually locks up. It’s the same idea with your brain. When it’s never given the chance to clean itself, it malfunctions. This is why alcoholics are often so irritable and can’t think straight. They’re literally working with a busted machine inside their head.

Good sleep is hard enough to come by, for me. I’m lucky if I can get a solid 6 hours of quality shut-eye. I don’t need booze wrecking what little sleep I might be able to get. Plus, I like a well-scrubbed brain.

4.) I don’t like being dependent on chemicals or drugs for anything.

That goes for medications, also. I don’t even like taking aspirin or cold medicine unless I really need to. It’s not a macho thing. It’s a control thing. I like to remain sovereign over my mental faculties at all times. I think it’s why even when I did drink heavily, I had a knack for toeing up to the line, but rarely ever going full-blown Chernobyl. Even as a habitual drinker then, I stayed in the driver’s seat as much as possible.

5.) I just don’t have the time for it.

Looking back, I don’t know how I ever made time to drink. It’s funny. When you’ve got a good buzz on, time just melts away, and before you know it, it’s 2 AM, and you’re realizing you have to get up that morning for work. As in like four hours.

Alcohol is like a black hole. It sucks up everything in your life, and suddenly, everything revolves around the bottle. You plan your whole day by it. Work is just something you do before you can drink. Eating is just something to be gotten out of the way so you can drink. You ignore healthy, productive activities and hobbies and even people in order to reserve time for drinking. 

It’s a pure time suck. And a life suck. It’s a true vampire. Life is short enough not to spend 20% of every day (or more) half-conscious. When I think back to how much of my life I wasted avoiding reality behind a bottle, it honestly hurts.

6.) Alcohol withdrawal is a motherfucker. 

It can actually kill you. While I never got to the point where not drinking was a threat to my life, I had some uncomfortable experiences during my occasional cessation periods. A burning sensation in my chest. Heart palpitations. Sweating. Inability to sleep. Anxiety. Cold symptoms. Even hallucinations. I remember one night tossing and turning in bed, and seeing an owl, or some kind of bird, perched near the ceiling, partially hidden in shadow.

None of that shit is appealing whatsoever, obviously. 

It’s crazy the heavy toll alcohol extracts, even when you’re not drinking and making the effort to clean up. It’s like trying to get out of the mob. Better be ready to take a beating. It’s no wonder so many get sucked back in after sobering up for a short spell. 

7.) I value my health, and…

Alcohol is basically all sugar. And when you drink, you usually eat like shit on top of it. Or you lose your appetite the next morning because of the hangover. You’re throwing your body’s chemistry and digestive rhythm out of whack. You’re packing on excess calories. It’s why so many guys (and gals) get that gross fanny pack gut the more they sling those six packs around. 

And if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s the sad sack potbelly look that frankly too many fucking middle-aged dudes are bizarrely okay with having these days. 

Can’t be me, man.

7.5.) …drinking ages you

I don’t get it. Aging already degrades your appearance no matter how well you take care of yourself, or how evolved your genes. But alcohol puts rocket thrusters on the whole crypt-keeper look-a-like deal. 

It dries out your skin. 

It can give you diabetes. 

It ruins your internal organs. 

It eats your brain. 

It chews up your heart. 

And it ravages your biochemistry, until your body thinks it actually needs alcohol to function.  

Life is short enough. You’ll lose your youthful bloom and looks fast enough already. Why the hell would you hasten the process?


Nowadays

Life is better now without alcohol. I don’t miss the sickness that drinking ultimately became. I value the ability to think clearly and cleanly. When you’re younger there’s a tendency to want to run and hide from life. To cope somehow with raw reality. I think this is why binge drinking, drugs, bad relationships, or sex, can become such pitfalls. They’re escape portals from the scary real world. 

But as you get older, and the patterns of life become more familiar, you start to lose that hopeless lost at sea feeling that oftentimes plagues you when you’re just starting out. You start to appreciate things as they are. You care less about what others think. You learn to value what actually matters. And you start to lose that fear and anxiety and angst that powers a lot of bad decisions. 

Sometimes, you even look forward to dealing with problems, rather than running saway from them. You start to see them more as puzzles or opportunities rather than evil afflictions. 

This doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process.  

I’m not an anti-alcohol born-again evangelist, or something. There’s nothing morally wrong with drinking. I still enjoy an occasional beer, usually with family, or for special occassions. It’s just alcohol is something that doesn’t jive with my programming. I realized that for me, it’ll always be a net negative. 

Plus, and this was hard to accept, but it’s too much of an addictive temptation. When I drank regularly, I could never just have one glass of brandy. It was at least three to four, until it knocked me out. It’s not easy to recognize a weakness in yourself, but eventually I had to admit the truth. But fortunately, one of my strengths is being able to pivot strongly once I’ve (finally) realized I’ve taken a wrong turn, and then learning from the mistake.

I’m glad alcohol is out of my life. Lucidity really is an underappreciated state of mind.