Inflation is so scary when you really look at it.

It feels weird, but I’m at the age where I’ve developed some perspective on the outrageous rising cost of living. I can finally say things like, “Back when I was young ____ used to cost so much less!”

Of course, everyone’s getting eaten alive by inflation these days. On TikTok, there are people comparing grocery receipts of today with that of just four or five years ago. With the exact same items and brand names, too.

I remember purchasing Old Spice Pure Sport 3.4 oz deodorant in Wal-Mart four years ago for about $2.99, or sometimes there’d be the two for $5.00 pack. That same size and brand currently costs $4.47 for just one according to the website. I live in North Dakota, so that price might be higher or lower elsewhere. But that’s almost a 50% increase in just four years. Ridiculous. But you can’t put a price on keeping B.O. at bay, right?

By the way, I don’t seem to recall my income going up by 50% over the last four years. Someone’s losing ground here, and I think it’s me.

I know, I know. Why didn’t I go all in on GameStop back in 2021? I could have so easily been a millionaire. How stupid was I?

Inflation is known as the “hidden tax.” But that kind of undersells its malicious and destructive presence. That’s like calling Michael Myers the “hidden prowler,” instead of, say, a terrifying homicidal phantom. Dr. Loomis hit the nail on the head by calling him “pure evil.” Which is something you could also call inflation.

Inflation is a result of money printing, government spending, and whatever those three witches were brewing up in Macbeth. Double, double toil and trouble, indeed!

What makes inflation so frustrating and demorializing is that it’s impossible to overcome or avoid. Watching it is like being tied to the railroad tracks and forced to wait for the locomotive to come barreling over you full steam ahead. All the while the sinister mustachiod villain who left you there gets away scot-free and cackling.

All you can do is invest and hope for the best to try and stay ahead of the “blast radius” of inflation as much as possible. But therein lies another problem. What do you invest in, and will it beat the real rate if inflation? According to the Federal Reserve and government reports, inflation is currently ticking back down to 2%, the desired annual target.

But Michael Saylor, the CEO of MicroStrategy, seems to think the “real” rate of inflation actually averages 7% a year. That means that even if you’re investing in the S&P 500, which averages a 10% growth rate every year, you’re only just keeping your head above water.

Saylor is known for loving Bitcoin, and sure, if you’d bought it five or more years ago you’d have realized massive gains. But who’s to say Bitcoin will keep providing such high returns, and how long it will take to get them?

Gold has risen nicely over the last 20 years, but the yellow metal has also had decades of sideways action and decline over its long history. And how practical or safe is it to store your nest egg in gold? I keep a little myself, but only it’s a small allocation.

Real estate has gone up big, too, especially in some states. Many northeastern and western states like California saw real estate grow by as much as 20% over just the last two years. But such a stratospheric growth rate also causes new and younger buyers from being locked out of the market.

Realistically, the average person is left with trying to escape Michael “inflation” Myers by investing in S&P 500 and Nasdaq index funds via retirement plans and personal brokerage accounts. That’s not the worst option. But that’s like only running from Michael on foot. A car would be much better. Or a V-2 rocket.

I remember 2004 like it was not that long ago. Bush was calling Kerry a “flip flopper” on the presidential campaign trail. The Red Sox won their first World Series since the Middles Ages. And a base model Honda Civic DX only cost about $13,000.

$13,000! That’s nothing! Peanuts! I could make that with a newspaper route. Well, actually, $13k is nothing to sneeze at, but it is managable and within reach.

What’s a base model 2024 Honda Civic LX sedan cost now? According to Car and Driver, $25,045.

$25,000! That used to be a GRAND prize on Wheel of Fortune back in the day. Now it barely gets you the quintessential middle-class starter car. Not counting taxes and other fees.

Honda Civics have nearly doubled in price over the last twenty years at an annual growth rate of about 3.32%. If they were to continue at that rate, then by 2044 they’ll cost like $50,000.

This is something you have to keep in mind when it comes to planning retirement and managing future expenses. If you retire with a million dollars in 2044 and plan to follow the 4% rule (meaning you take out 4% of your portfolio to live every year) that means you’ll only have $40,000, which won’t even be enough to buy a new Honda.

Sure, you could buy a used car. But remember, they’re all likely going to double in price, too. A used 2020 Honda Civic with 35,000 miles today might cost $20,000. But in 2044 that same four-year used vehicle will probably cost $40,000. So, you still have nothing leftover to live on in that scenario.

2044 may seem far away. But it’s not. It’s really not. The last twenty years went pretty fast to me. The next will go fast, if not faster. If there’s one thing we’ve all learned about inflation recently, it’s that it can get out of control very quickly and make life very difficult, unless you’re already rich.

Michael Myers has put on some good Nike running shoes the last few years, and if you don’t stay ahead of him, you’re going to feel his butcher knife in your wallet before long.