Maybe I’m missing something, but I think not.

So a few years ago, for a summer school project, I had to travel to some middle-of-nowhere town in North Dakota for a ten-day project to help model and reorganize the town’s tiny museum from a junk drawer to a pristine attraction. It was for a Public History class, as part of my history minor. Not something I cared to do, but it was a credit requirement. I was half-way to finishing my long-delayed bachelor’s degree, having returned to college late in life. Needless to say, I was the oldest, most mature, and therefore, most level-headed of the students there.

Anyway, it just so happened this project occurred when Wonder Woman was premiering in theaters. And the whole time, this one young woman kept prattling on about how we all HAD to go watch it that Friday night. Now, at the time, I was somewhat into Marvel/DC stuff. But selectively. I enjoyed Captain America, Ant-Man and a few others. They were fun diversions with generally servicable stories and entertaining characters. Wonder Woman didn’t really appeal to me, but it seemed like an okay film from the trailers.

So check it out that Friday night we did. Afterward, we’re all huddled together in the lobby discussing what we’d seen. When it came to my turn, I said it was a decent film, somewhat enjoyable, with a disappointing climax. Well, this ruffled the Prattler’s feathers. Huffing and puffing, she wagged her finger and shook her head at me, scolding and scowling.

“What do you meeean you didn’t like it?” grumbled the Prattling Scowler.

She was, shall we say, a big girl, with a proportion not dissimilar to a beach ball. So when she shifted her position on the thin lobby carpet, I actually felt the floorboards undereneath me creak. I retierated my stance, which I felt was not exactly negative — I never said I “didn’t like it,” afterall. She huffed and puffed again, apparently stung. Then she quickly polled the rest of the group for their reactions. All quickly agreed it was “great.” Prattling Scowler then glared at me, turned her nose up, harrumphed, and turned away. We headed back to town.

But for the rest of the trip I was basically persona non grata. My “dislike” of Wonder Woman was the subtext of every reaction I had with the Prowling Scowler. It was as if I’d insulted her religion or family, or something.

The whole situation left me amused. Not just because I felt it was ridiculous for a 25-year old to get that butthurt over some stranger “not liking” her movie. It was that my neutrality was so unbearably intolerable for her. She demanded fealty. Glowing adulation. I had to like it, or else I was a terrible person.

Of course, I knew why. It was because Wonder Woman was a feminist avatar. And so not liking it obviously meant I hated women. I know that sounds like a weird tortured chain of reasoning. But it’s the only “logic” that makes sense. Why would anyone care whether some random dude likes their movie or not unless that movie validates some deeply-held belief or idology of theirs?

I don’t think Wonder Woman is a feminist avatar, personally. I think it’s kind of silly to import that kind of value to a comic book character. We’re talking about a character that runs around in her underwear all day and looks like a supermodel. She was obviously riginally made as eye candy for the masses of male comic book readers. But even if you think she is a feminist avatar, why would it matter what any man would think about her? Especially a guy in his mid-30s (which I was at the time)?

That would be like a dude-bro getting his Bud Light boxers all twisted because some random girl doesn’t like Dominic Toretto from The Fast and the Furious movies. Or take movies like Predator, Mad Max, Commando, and others. Macho movies I’ve enjoyed. But I would totally understand a chick thinking they’re just silly man flicks. I certainly wouldn’t get all bent out of shape because some random girl doesn’t like Arnold.

Which brings us to Captain Marvel, and the sequel The Marvels, which just released its trailer.

Wonder Woman seems a charming, positive role model, and her movies are harmless and fun. Gal Gadot is nearly perfectly cast. I can maybe see a woman-child feeling jilted at someone not liking the character.

Captain Marvel, on the other hand, is an objectively shitty movie character with an objectively shitty casting choice. Which is a shame because the character itself had a lot of potential. I’ve always liked Superman, and Captain Marvel is sort of the Avenger’s version of the Man of Steel. So I was ready for an honorable do-gooder type persona when I sat down to watch the 2019 film when it opened. Instead, I got an unlikable asshole.

It’s mostly due to the bad writing, but also Brie Larson, who is perhaps the worst casting decision in the entire history of Hollywood. Like, John Wayne as Genghis Khan was less outrageous. If you’re going to have a big, powerful super female who’s supposed to be a competent, inspirational leader, don’t you think you should cast someone who can exude those qualities on screen? Captain Marvel should have been portayed by someone like Charlize Theron or Emily Blunt. An obvious Alpha Female who doesn’t need to try hard to look like a boss onscreen.

Larson does NOT exude any of those above qualities. She’s very good at playing desperate, frustrated, beta characters who can scrap their way out of situations. She won an Oscar playing one, afterall, in Room. But as a charismatic, likable lead on the level of a Chris Hemsworth as Thor or Robert Downey, Jr. as Iron Man? Or Gal Gadot? Don’t be serious. If anything, she comes across more like a villain than a hero. Captain Marvel is supposed to be a US fighter pilot. As in, a very competent, very type A, driven sort of person, who’s also very cool. Not a cranky Karen. Captain Marvel the movie should have been like Top Gun: Maverick, but with aliens. Compare those two movies. Even some of the “asshole” pilot jocks in TG:M are cool and likable, because they’re competent and self-sacrificial. It makes up for their cocky assholery.

Anyway, I’m not going to itemize every little thing that turned me off from the first Captain Marvel. Nor am I going to explain why the latest trailer looks like a ridiculous mess. I know it’s not made for me. I am obviously not the target audience. Besides, enough “anti-woke” dorks on YouTube have already said all there is to say.

However, it puzzles me why feminists are so upset that men don’t like a film that’s obviously not made for them, and kind of hates them, in fact. Take this article from GQ, for instance, “Of course Men Already Hate the Marvels.”

I couldn’t stop laughing when I read the headline because it reminded me so much of the meltdown I witnessed from the beach ball Scowling Prattler all those years ago. But I kept asking myself, why does this person care that I don’t like this obviously girl-power movie?

For the record, like I told beach ball about Wonder Woman, I don’t “hate” The Marvels trailer, or the idea of The Marvels, period. It’s not made for me. But don’t expect me to like it and act all pissed off I don’t want to run out the door to go see it. Doesn’t the writer of that article see how absurd that is? It would be like me scolding a five-year old for not liking The Silence of the Lambs.

If feminists want to hate on men, that’s fine. But I’m not going to participate in my own abuse by watching a movie that’s not targeted at my demo, number one, and number two, if it’s anything like the first film, will also be filled with snide and predictable feminist anti-male tropes.

Really, if there’s a guy out there who says he actually like The Marvels and can’t wait to watch it, that’s almost certainly a guy you shouldn’t trust. That’s a guy desperate for female approval. And guys like that are always losers, or turn out to be creeps.

Women, feminists too, should be thrilled men “hate” The Marvels. Assuming Captain Marvel IS a feminist avatar (or supposed to be), then her movies should be a party for feminists. Something to celebrate for the cause. And just like how you don’t invite people you don’t like to a party, you don’t care that men dislike or hate your party, ’cause they ain’t invited anyway.

I get why the dorks on YouTube are hate reviewing the trailer. Rage baiting the algo pays big money. Some of these dudes are pulling in six figs for their “anti-woke” whinnyings.

But why do feminists care so much what these men think? I don’t see any profit in that.

Could it be that feminists secretly need male validation? No, perish the thought. Or could it be that everyone knows that Captain Marvel, and its upcoming sequel, are actually kind of shit, and so this whole histrionic defensive reaction is just one big cope to paper over that reality?

Like I talked about in my article Representation is Bullshit, this why you don’t attach your self-value to fictional movie characters. You’ll never win, because only you can validate you.

It really is a mystery to me why I, as a man, apparently must like The Marvels. Certainly no one would care about whether others like their movie who isn’t an embarassing, childish person filled with self-doubt, and desperately seeking approval from others. We know feminists are strong, independent, mature, and never emotional. So clearly this need for my manly approval must be some kind of aberration. At least, that’s what I’m going with.