The status of men today.
Men occupy a strange Twilight Zone social status nowadays. On the one hand, we’re constantly barraged by charges of “toxic masculinity” while also many of us are simultaneously called “incels.” We’re both useless but also needed to serve as providers. Family courts see men largely as cash cows. The vast majority of divorces and child custody hearings favor women, at least in financial terms. Sometimes the child(ren) must stay with the mom because they are are still physically dependent on her. But most times it’s simply because men make the most money, and are therefore target-rich environments to scheming lawyers.
We’re a polarized, hierarchy-divided species. We’re either Alpha Male Chads (a small minority) or low-grade beta simps (the majority). Most of us are considered “ugly” by women, at least if reports from some dating app research are to be believed.
We’re a relic of the patriarchal past. Yet it is men who largely perform all the sweaty blue-collar labor that keeps society running. Who’s driving all those big rigs across the highways? It’s like 85% men. Same with plumbers, electricians, oilfield workers, etc. We do most of the work that keeps civilization humming.
And yet, despite performing so many essential functions in society, many men remain invisible, single, and alone these days. Relegated to acting as background code in the matrix of the universe, as it were.
Perhaps there are too many of us. In centuries past, many young men were sent off to war, where they died in battle or from disease. Or men went off to sea, encountering a variety of lethal dangers. China infamously enacted a one child policy years ago that favored male offspring. Now the country has a glut of men and not enough women to meet balanced mating needs, leading to a population crisis.
Most men in the past had to endure a culling process of some kind that thinned the herd a bit. Not now. The draft ended in the 1970s and there hasn’t been a war in the West since that’s required calling up millions of soldiers. At least not yet.
Meanwhile, women have made strides toward “equality,” if one believes such a thing can exist between the sexes. Women make more money and occupy more positions of authority. The result on the mating market has been seismic. Women are more selective on who they commit to long-term, and more prone to just staying single. Many are happy to wait until their 30s and even beyond for “Mr. Right.”
This new choice dynamic has favored high-status men, while often leaving many average men in the dust. It’s become like an arms race between the top-shelf men and women, with few winners, and many staying single and alone. Birth rates have dropped hugely, and as a result native populations around the West have declined. Even when people do get married today, they have far fewer children than before. Often only one or two, which barely keeps up the replacement rate.
No one wants to see a return to bloody wars and deadly maritime activities that saw the demise of millions of men over the centuries. But given the intense competition many young men face in the dating world, perhaps it’s better they turn their attention to leveling up financially and professionally before trying secure a long-term partner.
Men often go into the modern dating market completely unprepared for its harsh demands. They waste their time shooting their shot into the void of dating apps. Or they chase after women who just aren’t into them. Then they despair when they don’t gain traction.
It’s a costly blunder with often a net negative outcome, this ruthless pursuit of women in youth. Imagine if all that early to mid-20s energy were directed toward business enterprises, collegiate excellence, gymmaxxing, networking, hobby procurement, or at the least a fierce dedication to one’s job or industry. Instead, hours and dollars are wasted on chasing the siren call of “true love.”
Much time is wasted on other pointless things, too, of course. Things like video games, porn, binge drinking, TV, Netflix, movie marathons, and more. But much of the aforementioned is in the “blowing off steam” category. Often done after work or as a way to relieve stress. Not necessarily intentional with the end goal being a lifelong commitment to another person, offspring, and major lifestyle changes.
Though I disagree with the Red Pill’s often corrosive, schizoidal, and cynical outlook toward life and women in general, I do tend to affirm a lot of its generic be-your-best-isms and level-upping maxims for men. Men tend to do best when grouped in strict and clearly defined roles while directed by a forceful leader or “coach.” This is why men thrive on sports teams, military units, business squads, and other places that foster a brotherhood. The Red Pill sort of approximates this tribal dynamic.
You have to remember that most men today grew up with either absentee fathers or a limited fatherly presence, often while being raised by a single mother or by a dominant mother. All while going to school with most likely mainly female teachers. Women can complain all they want about men “sucking” today, but women by and large raised the current generation of men. So who’s to blame?
Anyway, back to the pursuit of marriage. Personally, I feel as a man that there are two best scenarios when it comes finding a partner. The most ideal is you find someone in your youth and stay together for life. I think it’s a shame that few people today have the opportunity, or even look for the chance, to find someone when they are really young. Instead they spurn that by screwing around, only to find themselves alone going into the dark early years of adulthood. Young love is the best kind, though it’s often not taken seriously. Granted, it’s rare for most people anymore. How many people meet their significant other in high school? Very few. I’m not embarassed to admit that as a teen I was a naive romantic myself, often dreaming of finding “the one.” Of course, like many male teens during that age period, I was a hot mess. I had neither the maturity nor means to manage such a situation. Nor was I ever seriously “in the game” to begin with, if we’re being honest. I never even had dates for the proms. But for those few who are and who find the right person, I say go for it.
The next ideal avenue is the ol’ seek your fame and fortune first before seriously seeking a mate option. This is actually the course many women choose today, though economics and the intense individualism of Western culture often forces the “choice” upon them. Often they forego marriage, children, even relationships in general, in favor of career and college. That leaves them with a much narrower reproductive window of opportunity.
But what is the alternative for women? Abandon their own careers for average schmucks who barely make $50,000 a year to be stay-at-homes with three and four kids? With today’s inflation? You can see the dilemma. Unless the guy is a real prize, he’s probably not worth lowering the drawbridge. Unless he’s just a rent-a-dick for the night.
I can’t speak to what women should or shouldn’t do, as I’m not a woman. But I think if you’re a man today the second option —become the best prize you can be — is the only practical route for most, really, as it provides the most optionality. Men may not go through a war or sea gauntlet today, but perhaps they need some kind of proving ordeal. Not in some fairy-tale-win-the-princess sense. But in a becoming a responsible adult person capable of dealing with the shit life throws at you sense.
The ugly alternative is this current “bottlenecking” of the mating market. I suspect my proposed male recession from the dating scene is actually already occurring. Except instead of self-improvement and leveling up, many men are regressing into an infantile state, playing video games, or substituting porn for human intimacy. Perhaps a gradual dawdling away into oblivion via mindless entertainment and distraction is the new war and sea gene filtering mechanism. Evolution does not seek sit-arounders, edible munchers, chronic masturbators, and button-mashers, but men with a plan. Heroes not zeroes.
Dean Brooks 