Tag: red pill

What’s Killing The Dating Scene? Could It Be Because Everyone’s A Lard Ass?

On By Dean BrooksLeave a comment

It’s hard to swipe right when both hands are holding ice cream cones, no?

Made with Midjourney

I was in the middle of writing my article about whether men should wait until they are financially secured before getting married when I thought, “Wait a minute, what about all the fat dudes? Who cares if you’ve got some cheddar in the bank if you’re a gigantic blob?”

It then also occurred to me how when you get down to it, most people don’t really care about material possessions and money when it comes to attraction. They care if they find you “hot.” They care if they find you physically attractive. This isn’t just men. Women do, too.

Are women at home fantasizing about Chris Hemsworth, or Danny DeVito? Are men at home thinking about Sydney Sweeney, or Rosie O’Donnell?

Of course, plenty of supermodel-quality women go for rich hippo-sized uggo dudes all the time. But we’re not talking about obvious gold diggers or pay-for-play marriage arrangements. We’re talking about your average everyday relationships. Most people want someone who looks good and turns them on.

Well, here’s the problem. It’s kind of hard to be your best sexy self when you’ve got a hundred pounds of blubber wrapped over your frame like a sports mascot outfit.

This is a serious issue. Something like 75% of people in America are overweight. Almost 40% are obese. OBESE. As in that girl Violet who ate the three-course-meal chewing gum in Willy Wonka and then “blew up like a balloon.”

Those statistics are not just for older adults who are well past the prime dating age. They’re nearly across the board for all adults. Male and female. Even young people in the hot spot of the mating zone.

Years ago when I went back to college to finish my degree I could not believe the number of overweight women I saw on campus. I’m not talking the “freshman 15” here. I’m talking both ass cheeks hanging over the side of the classroom chair. I’m talking pear-shaped plumpernutters. There were plenty of hefty guys, too. Guys with sagging beer bellies. It should be illegal to look like that until you’re at least 45 and have a mortgage and three kids.

At my job at the time, I worked on occasion with an 18-year-old girl whose legs were thicker than my waist. She would come in to work carrying bags of McDonald’s, slurping on Starbucks milkshakes, and then actually complain to others about her weight problems. One time I asked her if she needed help with something work-related, to which she replied, unprompted about the subject, “Yeah, how about you take some of my fat?” I then suggested maybe she should make nutritious food at home instead of always ordering Mcdonald’s. To which she laughed and looked at me like I was insane. I was actually sad, aghast, and brokenhearted inside. All of 18, and she was already hopelessly lost down a dark alley of Big Macs and Big Gulps.

Here’s the thing. Obesity and overweightedness is a (literally) big deal. It affects your health in every negative way. It gives you early diabetes, heart problems, cardiovascular problems, breathing issues, cancer, and wreaks havoc on your joints. Not to mention the most obvious one — it makes you look far less attractive.

Obesity also saps your libido and can harm your reproductive abilities, too.

No wonder the population is declining rapidly. No wonder young people aren’t banging each other anymore. No wonder dating apps are dead. Have you been on any dating app recently? Let’s be honest. How many people did you see on there who WEREN’T fat? Not that many, right? I’m not trying to be funny. It’s legit part of the reason I deleted my accounts a long time ago. It was Cellulite City on there. Gross, no thanks. I don’t need to spend $35 a month just to be flooded with the roundular daughters of the Michelin Man. I’ll wait for my Uma Thurman sexbot instead.

Everyone wants to blame feminism, the Red Pill, toxic masculinity, the disappearance of third places, the hectic modern lifestyle, the economy, the reduction of religion, eroding traditions, and many other reasons for the death of dating and mating. But I think it’s much simpler. People have turned into disgusting fatasses.

Look, I’ll be the first to admit I’m no Brad Pitt. I’m more a darker-complexioned Justin Long. I do make the effort to stay in shape, though. I do what I can with what I got. Being hot is not everything in a relationship. But letting yourself become a blimp will not help.

It’s hard to get out there and clap cheeks when you can barely squeeze your cheeks out the front door, you know?

Examining Another Red Pill Dicktum: “She’s Not Yours, It’s Just Your Turn.”

On By Dean BrooksLeave a comment

Another Red Pill Dicktum anal-sis.

Made with Midjourney

The other night I went on one of those fantastic once in a blue moon dates that started off perfectly. The kind where you’re finishing each other’s sentences, laughing uproariously at each other’s jokes, and looking into each other’s eyes with chemical attraction, both thinking “This is the one!”

I’m not sure how the floodgates of simpatico opened. Was it our mutual rizz? My confidence? Her charm? Or maybe my seductive sweet talk.

Her: You’re unusually confident. Most guys turn into jibbering idiots around a Mars, Inc. heiress and Miss America contestant like myself.

Me: It’s because I know you’re not mine, it’s just my turn.

Her: That’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me.

Me: Right? If you and I were to get together, eventually you’d leave me beause of hypergamy, also known as “monkey branching.”

Her (swooning): You know so much about female nature.

Me (taps head): I’m a Red Piller. I’m in the know, baby.

Her: But I really do like you! I swear!

Me: Oh, sure. You say that now. But in two years? Five? Ten? Fifty?

Her: No, I’m serious. I’ll marry you right now.

Me: Sorry, but I’m not going to be the sucker who gets his heart broken at some indeterminate point in the future. It’s better to not try at all than to risk that. Goodnight, Miss America.

Sadly, our true love was not to be.

Out of the many Red Pill dicktums that are out there, this one may be the most cynical and toxic. However, technically it is true. In every relationship there is a 100% chance it will end. It’s just a question of when and how. Death? Divorce? Due to cheating? Or simply “growing apart?” Obviously no relationship is forever. But is it productive to go into one already anticipating (if not expecting) its eventual failure and the ensuing potential heartbreak? Do football players who reach the Super Bowl go into the game expecting to lose? Fifty percent of them will not hoist the Lombardi at the end of the night, but such a loser mindset is destructive and can create its own self-fulfilling prophecy.

The Red Pill solution to this Gordian Knot of inevitable relationship obsolesence is to “spin plates.” That means to have a number of women on rotation that you sleep with and/or with whom you maintain a connection. This way if one has a “hypergamy-gasm” on you, you can counter by just ringing up the next bimbo in line. Putting aside the fact that for average men this is largely an unrealistic scenario, “plate spinning,” even for high-value Lord Cockuluses, is time consumptive, expensive, largely superficial, and leads to nothing but complications.

There’s no genuine social regard for such plate spinning behavior, either. Society does not view you as King Solomon and his many concubines. You’re just a dude who can’t keep it in his pants. Though the family court lawyers chasing you down for child support and paternity tests will love you, I’m sure.

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, the Red Pill, aside from some generic be-your-best-isms, is just hedonism in disguise. Some are out there saying men should have sex with as many women as possible in preparation for marriage. Will these guys just start their own indy porn studios already? It’d be a lot more efficient.

“She’s not yours, it’s just your turn” best articulates the caustic outlook of the manosphere, which views relationships as inherently temporary and disposable. Interchangable, even. Like picking up used parts for a factory machine you expect to break down. On the surface it seems like good advice. The subtext is the admonition to not allow a relationship with a woman to consume you from succeeding in your life’s work and mission. Fair enough. I recall watching an animated series on Newgrounds decades ago centered on a bright young guy who gives up a scholarship to M.I.T. to pursue his high school girlfriend to some state college, only for the girl to abandon him so she can “explore” herself. That scene always stuck with me. What an idiot, I thought. Though there have been many such cases in the real world.

Making yourself an attractive quality partner and focusing on your unique gifts and your work so that you become the “prize,” is a worthwhile endeavour. In so far as the Red Pill espouses that doctrine, I’m on board. But then why the need for plate spinning? Why add all that unnecessary drama, not to mention the greater chance for STI infection or illegitmate children? I’m the bastard product of the kind of, shall we say, “excessive amorousness,” the Red Pill promotes, and let me tell you, it ain’t good being an infant football getting kicked around between two warring ex-lovers in family court, and losing one’s father in the fallout. To say nothing of being the proverbial redheaded step-child. Especially when you’re racially mixed.

You have to judge a philosophy or thought process based on the results as seen by the behavior of its followers, not entirely on whether it holds any real “truth.” The Communist Manifesto may have some worthwhile nuggets, but in practice communism is a ghastly inhumane system, as evidenced by virtually every country that’s tried it. The Red Pill is not waking men up from the Matrix of feminism, it’s demoralizing them and putting them to sleep, mainly. Most men aren’t even trying with women in the first place. Almost half of young men haven’t even approached a woman in person. They’re certainly not going to “spin plates.”

“She’s not yours it’s just your turn,” may seem like some a cold, hard truth to shield one’s heart from the cruelties of break-ups, but it functions as an install code for manwhorism, while devaluing potential quality relationships that might arise were one not seething 24/7 with pathological distrust. It’s less the war cry of a victor and more along the lines of Milton’s “Better to rule in Hell than serve in Heaven.”

Beta Signalers or Legit Feminism Regretters? Examining Another Female Meltdown

On By Dean BrooksLeave a comment

Sorry, I’m not buying it.

Source: Fox News

Every once in a while I’ll encounter these weepy profile pieces on middle-aged women who have allegedly “seen the light” about how feminism tricked them/destroyed their life/whatever, and how they now just want a nice, “traditional” life with a husband and family.

Recently, this article from the New York Post has been making the rounds in certain communities on X about a 38-year-old woman named Melissa Persling who feels “betrayed” by feminism. In an article she wrote in Business Insider, she confessed:

“I’m 38 and single, and I recently realized I want a child. I’m terrified I’ve missed my opportunity.”

Shortly after publishing, Ms. Persling suddenly had an epiphany about some guy she had friendzoned a year earlier. Now this guy is magically “the one” and in fact someone “God has been preparing” for her. Now the two are together, thinking about the future. She can’t wait to have a traditional life, even if that means not putting on “heels” and going to “fancy dinners.”

I’m happy the lady has seemingly found happines. But I’m not buying her bullshit. In fact, there are so many red flags here it’s hard to know where to begin.

For starters, Ms. Persling was married at 22 for eight years to a nice, small town Christian guy, before getting divorced at 30. But back then she was firm about not wanting children, and by her own admission, treated the guy with disdain. After her divorce:

“I told my friends and family I’d never get married again. I needed independence, a fulfilling career, and space to chart my own course, and I didn’t think marriage fit into that vision. I was content to look toward a future without a husband, children, or the trappings of a ‘traditional’ life,’” she wrote.

But as age 40 approached real terror set in, and Ms. Persling became afraid that she’d end up alone forever. Now she’s a born-again traditionalist.

Sorry, I have no sympathy for people who were basically gifted everything, and then decided to throw it all away because it somehow wasn’t good enough. All while treating the people who gifted her stuff like shit.

Ms. Persling goes on to say how she had a lot of self-discovery to work through, including “previous trauma” about her parent’s divorce.

“I grew up in a fairly traditional family, but my parents were divorced. And I would say that probably had some effect on my feelings about having a family coming from a broken home certainly has its hardships,”

And yet, this alleged “trauma” didn’t prevent her from marrying a guy for 8 years. However, I blame the guy for wasting all that time with her. If you’re a man who wants children and a family, don’t waste your life on someone who’s firmly against all that. Far too many men these days are far too indulgent and nice toward women who are selfish assholes. I mean, pussy is good and all, but at a certain point you’ve got to put your foot down and commit to your values.

Ms. Persling adds:

“I feel unbelievably betrayed by feminism, and I don’t want to put it on the movement [entirely] because I believe you make your own choices… But I was constantly fed this idea that women can do everything. We don’t really need men… I kind of want to go back to some of those teachers and coaches and say, ‘What did you mean by that? Because we can’t do it all.’”

The hysterical emotionally charged phrasing of “unbelievably betrayed” makes me suspicious right away. It’s too melodramatic. It’s too performative and “damsel in distress.” This isn’t about declaring some genuine internal change. This is attention-seeking behavior rubbing against the grain of feminism because that’s what will generate clicks and engagement. Anti-feminists are all the rage on YouTube and X now. Melonie Mac, for instance. They’re weird types. Often tattooed, masculine, swearing like truckers all while professing Christianity and traditionalism.

Ms. Persling is exactly the kind of toxic personality men should avoid. These 30-something born again Jesus-loving ephiphany-havers are sadly a common type. I used to see them all the time on dating apps. It’s practically a cliche, and almost always indicative of a troubled past and severe baggage that some nice sucker will soon be expected to handle. There was one profile I saw of a 33-year-old who declared in her profile that, “You would be expected to help me walk in the faith.” Madam, I don’t even know you and you’re telling me I’m partly responsible for your eternal soul?

It’s not that I don’t believe people can really change. It’s that I think a lot of women like this have just found a way to repackage their troubled, sloppy selves to make them more enticing to suckers. Rebaiting their hooks, so to speak.

I do applaud Ms. Persling on her personal development. I wish her all the best. Seriously. But she’s a good reminder for why a lot of good men decide to just stay single.

Examining A Cynical Red Pill Dicktum: “Women Hang Out at the Finish Line and They Pick the Winner.”

On By Dean BrooksLeave a comment

Source: Midjourney

The other day I went to visit a Lamborghini dealership and found a bunch of hot supermodels hanging out by the front entrance.

“Hey, what are you fine ladies all doing here?” I asked, after stepping out of my 2006 Saturn Ion.

“We’re hanging out at the finish line and picking the winners,” said one, who was still wearing her Miss America Contest sash across her clingy low-hanging silver dress.

“Isn’t that just like gold digging?” I asked.

“No, we’re just trying to find a high value man who will support us so we don’t have to work. This is totally different.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks. Have a nice day,” I said, and went inside to see if I could use the restroom.

If you hang around the Red Pill communities on X or YouTube enough, you’ll certainly run into the “dicktum” in the title of this article. It’s an expansion on the concept of hypergamy, wherein women searching for a guy will always look to date one who’s at a minimum across and up from her in terms of hierarchy and status. It’s caustically cynical, and more misogynistic than meanginful. Another smarmy throwaway is the oft-repeated, “She’s not yours it’s just your turn.” But that one is for another time.

Like many red pills maxims, there’s some truth in the statement mixed in with a whole lot of carnival philosophy. I’d argue everyone is looking to date “up,” both men and women. No one wants to date a “loser.” But everyone has different weights and measures when it comes to determining a “champion” verus a “chump.”

It’s not all about money or even looks. I’ve stated before that personality and geographic proximity have a lot more to do with attraction than most other things. If someone is with you just because you’ve got money or you look like Brad Pitt or Sydney Sweeney, your relationship probably won’t last or be very worthwhile. If you’re a guy who can’t get a girlfriend, it’s probably not because you’re cursed or something. It’s likely because you’re not social enough and therefore your potential partners don’t even know who the hell you are.

I’ve come across all kinds of weird and “illogical” relationships in my life. Ones that didn’t seem to make sense on the outset. I had a friend once who had been a “lazy weed dealer” (his words) who was in a commited relationship with a beautiful, college-educated, and very capable woman. She cooked, she cleaned, she even managed the finances. And she was in love with him. They’re married now.

I had a coworker; an attractive woman in her late 20s. She was always complaining about her boyfriend, who was unemployed and kind of weird. Then one day I asked if he’s so terrible then why did she have three kids with him? She couldn’t answer. Many such cases.

Point is, social proof markers and attraction are often very subjective, unpredictable, and even chemical things. Relationships are sloppy and rarely make perfect sense. The prince doesn’t always marry the princess.

“Women hang out at the finish line and they pick the winner” is an attempt at systemetizing courtship. As if it were as easy as just be jacked and rich and you’ll be sure to “get da girlz.” Sure, the beefy, rich dude might have an easier time at the bar with the floozy who just wants to have a good time. But there are plenty of guys and girls in that superficial category who end up as lonely assholes in life.

The statement does a real disservice to the whole idea of love and romance. It’s demoralizing to men in particular. It makes them think that if they’re not some handsome billionaire then they’re not worthy of a relationship. It turns women from human beings into essentially animals driven entirely by survivalist instinct. Like the xenomorph from Alien, or something.

I mean, if it were really true, you’d see single women lined up outside Goldman Sachs or Corvette dealerships all the time, looking to snag a “high value” alpha male. The last time I walked down Wall Street I didn’t see any hot girls holding signs with “Pick me!” written on them, I just saw some homeless guy puking into a trash can.

ALL Women Become Wall-Smashed Mutant Monster Freaks At Age 30. Or Is It 25?

On By Dean BrooksLeave a comment

Or maybe 23? Examining a popular Red Pill narrative.

Photo by Jonaorle from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/beautiful-woman-by-the-window-with-view-on-the-sea-10459947/

Man, she’s beautiful. Oh, wait, she’s 24? Sorry, hideous is what I meant.

You know, Red Pillers — these supposed experts on gender relations and female psychology — tend to speak of women like they are the scientist dudes in a cheesy 1950s sci-fi movie talking about the monster. Attack of the 50 Foot Woman or something. Or like how all those guys in The Thing were discussing the bizarre alien creature that could imitate them perfectly. With that cynical tone of powerlessness and hopelessness.

In fact, that’s a great idea for a bad comedy. A bunch of dudes freak out over a “monster” that shows up in their neighborhood, only for it to be just some random chick who scares them all to death for some reason.

“Good lord, the monster’s growing in height!”

“I think she just put on high heels, Johnson.”

To me, whether you’re a man or woman, if you’re discussing either gender with that resigned, angry, and defeated tone, you’ve already lost the game. You’re basically admitting you can’t functionally engage with and/or despise 50% of the world population. Not a good look.

I don’t have a love/hate relationship with the Red Pill. I have a 5% kind of like, 60% don’t like, 20% actively hate, and like 15% puzzled-by relationship. And 2% butterscotch ripple.

In so far as some Red Pill content encourages guys to follow generic platitudes like “be the best version of yourself” or “level up,” I’m okay with it. The problem is when the Red Pill steps into this weird dogmatic zone where it theorizes cookie-cutter psychology about men and women, starts prescribing a weird laundry list of actions and behaviors young men should do to “get da gurlz,” and hilariously tries to define “Alpha Male.”

One prominant Red Piller even thinks the Australian Party Guy from this 15-year old viral video is the definition of an alpha male. No, I’m not kidding. APG is cool and all, but men like Dwight D. Eisenhower or Tom Brady strike me as way better examples of alpha males than some party dude wearing sunglasses.

The Red Pill Alpha Male.

Then there’s the Red Pill’s obsession with women’s age and the whole concept of the Wall. Likely, you’ve heard of it. It’s basically the idea that women’s “sexual marketplace value,” (SMV) begins to decline precipitously at around age 30 and beyond. What is SMV? How much dudes want to bang you, pretty much. It also measures reproductive ability, as a woman’s chances to become pregnant declines as she ages until menopause shuts the window for good.

However, this “wall” idea very often becomes conflated with “beauty,” both muddling the concept overall. As “women are beauty objects” and “men are success objects,” as the maxim goes, Red Pillers cheatingly hand themselves a permanent trump card. Afterall, physical beauty obviously declines while “success” has no upper limit.

Photo by Ingrid Santana from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/side-view-photo-of-woman-with-her-eyes-closed-holding-her-her-as-sunlight-shines-on-her-face-2100027/

Wow, what a hottie! Oh, no. She turned 24 yesterday? Yuck, I can’t bear to even look at her now.

It all comes across as a giant cope, really. As if Red Pillers are saying that while women have all the advantages when they’re young and beautiful — ha ha — that only lasts briefly, girls. Meanwhile we men are able to dominate with the opposite sex our whole lives as long we’re leveling up.

Then there’s the constantly shifting goal posts.

For years I kept hearing age 30 was the magical wall number. Then it suddenly became 25. Now I’m hearing it’s as low as 23!

I think this one X user Maggie put it best here:

I predict before long the “prime” female age in Red Pill world will creep on down to 18. Every man should be assessing potential mates the same way a porn producer casts new talent, evidently. Or the way a john hires an escort for the evening. Let’s not think of things like personal chemistry, values, or lifestyle when examining a partner — none of those things matter.

By the way, has anyone told Travis Kelce that Taylor Swift is 33 years old? OMG, dude has no idea he’s dating a wall-smashed mutant monster freak! What a pathetic loser he is.

* * *

The nice thing about Red Pillers is you don’t have to examine much of their dogma very closely to see how absurd a lot of it is on its face. Most of these guys simply don’t pass the smell test at a glance. Really, go scroll through the mix if you care to waste the time. Most of them are angry middle-aged guys who got shanked in divorce court, or weird anti-social types who just can’t function properly.

The conspiratorial part of me suspects that the Red Pill is part of a broader depopulation psyop at worst. Or at the least bad theater in the attempt to jigger the YouTube algo for profit.

But all that aside, the Red Pill too often runs afoul of my individualist perspective with its wholesale generalities about the genders to be useful as anything other than “carnival philsophy.” Akin to palm reading or crystal ball gazing. Look, both sexes have their share of assholes, no doubt. But I think you can only look at people as individuals. Trying to lump a whole gender into some easily understandable mass is counter-productive and frankly, rather weird. It’s also why feminism, aka the female Red Pill, is a crock of shit for the most part as well.

A Few Reasons Marriage Rates are Falling Worldwide

On By Dean BrooksLeave a comment
Photo by Nghia Trinh from Pexels

As a lifelong bachelor who’s never had more than a passing interest in getting married, sometimes I like to take a moment to examine the institution from an outsider’s perspective.

It’s not that I don’t like or trust the concept of marriage. I’m not some cynical, jaded, red pill doomer/MGTOW misanthrope. Having seen my share of “manosphere” content on YouTube, my overall assessment is it’s like most gangsta rap. Hilarious subverse, fun to listen to, but not exactly meaningful or useful for leading a productive life. Most of the so-called “unplugged” red pillers are really nothing more than just unlikable a-holes with too much money and/or time on their hands.

Yet, many of them do make very valid points in their suspicions toward the institution of marriage. It’s a coin flip. A 50% chance you might lose half your possessions (or more) in a divorce. Who wants to take 50/50 odds their parachute won’t open after they jump out of a plane? You’ve heard all the analogies and seen all the statistics before, I’m sure.

On principle, marriage is a good idea. If it represents a genuine committment and a good faith promise from parties not to screw each other over in the event of a separation. Looked at from a financial and tax perspective, there are many benefits. Given how many Millennials (who are now in the thick of their getting hitched years given their age group) are supposedly broke/unemployed/in debt/under employed/not fulfilling their economic potential, it would seem getting married makes all kinds of sense financially. Two people to share onerous rent or mortgage payments, furniture costs, Netflix subscription fees, etc. Yet, marriage rates globally continue to decline.

So, why is this? The South China Morning Post lists three reasons. The first of which is:

Independent demographer He Yafu said young Chinese women were changing their view of marriage and parenting.

“As their education and economic independence levels increase, the percentage of women who are single is increasing,” He said.

Women becoming more independent and self-sufficient as a cause for declining marriage rates is not unique to China, of course. In all my searches, I found that to be a common theme. It’s certainly a cause here in the West, in the U.S. and Canada, and elsewhere. It’s here that a red piller might posit that feminism will “destroy civilization,” as it reduces women’s interest in having committed relationships during their peak fertile windows, leading to fewer births, leading to governments having to allow for laxxer immigration policies to prop up the tax base, leading to the dissolution of unified national identity, leading to globalization, and ultimately leadings to pods, bugs, fake meat, and mandatory soy injections in the dick, or something.

By the way, if all that does happen, I’ll be happy to admit I was wrong to doubt the red pillers and for not buying a MGTOW coaching session for $20 a minute so I can be told what a loser I am for not being a millionaire supermodel pussy slayer by age 25.

Going back to China, marriage rates have dropped to their lowest rate since 1986, when statistics first started being recorded. Naturally, China’s infamous one-child policy, which favored males, gets part of the blame. And rightly so. Now China has a demographic time bomb going off with excess men, and not enough women to go around as wives. Imagine a whole nation of incels. Actually, you don’t have to. That’s pretty much everywhere now.

However, while China’s lopsided male/female ratio may be unique on the national scale, it’s not necessarily so at the local level, depending on where you live. I currently live in Western North Dakota, having moved here for the oil boom many years back. It’s not as bad now, but certainly back during the heyday of the boom, there were far greater numbers of men than women. And what few women there were, were often already attached, had children, or were not exactly in the dating pool. Western North Dakota is the place where relationships go to die, I like to joke with friends and family. Strangely, it is also the place where your bank account and networth go to live. Can’t have it all, I guess.

That South China Morning Post article also blames the COVID-19 pandemic, as it forced so many young, potentially marriageable people indoors, where they couldn’t have gone on a coffee date even if they had wanted to.

I think if anything the pandemic acted an accelerant on an already growing societal trend, though it doesn’t really get at a big underlying cause: technology. Social media, in particular, which has a way of dehumanizing people. Even good people. This is true whether we’re talking Twitter, Facebook, or popular dating apps like PlentyofTrash and OkStupid. Most dating apps create a sort of digital China experience, in which the men vastly outnumber the women. Women are often inundated with messages from thirsty dudes, while most dudes are left shooting their shot into the void with not much to show for it. That’s not to say dating apps are pointless. I’ve had some anecdotal success with them, even while living on Mars, as I do, and not being some chiseled Adonis. However, I’ve found far more success when I actually go out, and put myself in the right social situations, as I’m sure most people have also experienced. I’d never want to rely solely on dating apps ever, though. That’d be like having to rely on Burger King for every meal.

So, China blames women becoming more independent and delaying marriage, or putting it off altogether, the nation’s disastrous one-child policy that led to too many boys, and COVID-19. I think you also see these reasons playing out in the West, but sometimes in a more localized way. For instance, even in big cities, where the male/female ratio is more balanced, either sex will still complain about a lack of suitable mates. Women may complain that there are too few high status guys who match their income or higher. While many guys who don’t feel they can compete in the dating market anyway (or just don’t want the hassle, period) may simply opt out in favor of video games, movies, or internet porn.

Overall, the falling marriage rate is an alarming trend. But I think it says more about how people today are failing to connect with one another in a meaningful way rather than anything about the failure of the institution itself. Marriage has been around for thousand sof years, afterall, and will continue into the future.

But hey, maybe we’ll all have better luck in the Metaverse. 🙂