Tag: retirement

You Don’t Really Want To Retire

On By Dean BrooksLeave a comment

You just hate working 9–5 for some dipshit.

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One of my biggest pet peeves in life is misrepresentation. It pisses me off. Considering I’m on the internet 24/7 like everyone else (gotta check X, bro, or I’ll die), that of course means I’m pissed off all the time.

I’m not alone. I had a pastor years ago back when I went to church regularly who would rage against scam charity drives that offer a “free product WITH a donation.” Oh God did that burn him bad. “It’s not free if you have to make a donation!” He went off more on that than he ever did the gays, backsliding, or any End Times rapture stuff.

(I went to a lot of Southern Baptist hellfire and damnation churches growing up; no, I’ll never recover my lost sanity.)

But I did happen to agree with him. About the misrepresenting charity drives. Not much of anything else.

I see it all the time in these “retire early” YouTube niches. Gurus all over the place claim to be retired, or encourage you to retire as soon as possible.

“You’re wasting you life, bro. Retire now, bro, and live with me in (fill in the blank shitty tropical developing country) right now, bro.”

And I don’t totally disagree with them. If you can feasibly and legitimately “retire” that early and everything checks out, then by all means. However, these gurus aren’t telling you the whole truth. A lot of them aren’t really retired. They’re just working online now.

NEWS FLASH: You’re not really retired if you’re still needing to make $3,000 a month from YouTube yammering about “retiring early.”

Retirement is such a misused, misrepresented word these days. It’s been bastardized. Often its spoken by cavalier glib hype masters trying to gain clicks. I just wrote an article about people shilling LEAPS to make $10,000 a month so they can “retire” early. News flash again. You’re not retired if you’re having to carefully trade the markets and you’re constantly putting your networth at stake under precarious market fluctutations. You’re a trader. You’re not kicking back on a beach relaxing. Having to watch the market everyday is frankly the opposite of relaxation for me.

People these days take these gurus to mean ACTUAL retirement, as in they don’t work at all anymore. But in actuality, retirement means something else in the online FIRE (financial independence retire early) dude bro finance space. It really means starting a business online, or starting a YouTube channel, “content creation” (hate that phrase) or doing some other ecommerce deal or whatever to make location-independent income, so that you can (hopefully permanently) leave the “9–5 grind.”

It’s not really retirement in the true sense of the word. It’s becoming an entrepreneur in the digital economy. A business owner, to make it simple. Or an investor/trader. It’s taking on a whole lot of other duties and knowledge and workload to make an income. It’s sticking your face on Tiktok or YouTube or Instagram or whatever all the time to sell either clicks or a product. But psychologically, it still kind of fools people into thinking it’s actual “retirement.”

It’s not. It’s “worktirement,” to coin an awkward term. Well, no. It’s really still just work.

Nobody really wants to “retire.” They don’t want to sit on the freeway everyday in bumper to bumper traffic just to go to an office where some MBA douche with a comb over tells them their budget report is two minutes late and how they need to be more mindful of the company timeline.

It’s really corporate wage slavery people hate and want to escape from. This is why these gurus get so popular. And more power to them, don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind people encouraging other people to free themselves from jobs or careers they hate. I just wish they would be more honest about it and represent the situation of their “retirement” better. Otherwise it sells people on a false dream. Not everyone will be able to or want to just quit a job and then mug for YouTube to make a living. YouTube might take years to work out. Or it doesn’t at all. YouTube is great. But it’s not the life for everyone.

What does retirement really mean anyway? Basically, just not working. It doesn’t have to imply that you’re financially independent enough to not need an income from anywhere else. You could be dead ass broke and just sit around not working. You could be worth a billion dollars and still grind every day.

Nobody wants to otally not work period unless they are exceptionally lazy sacks of shit with zero ambition and few functioning brain cells. They just want their lives back and the freedom to do what they want.

To paraphrase my pastor from decades past: “It’s not retirement if you still have to earn a living to keep from ending up on the street!”

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How Much Do You Need To Be Considered“Rich?” Ten Million, Apparently

On By Dean BrooksLeave a comment

According to Grant Cardone, that is.

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Is he wrong? Technically, no. Based on inflation, a million dollars back in 1960 is equal to almost $10.6 million now.

Cardone and the article from Yahoo Finance add:

“A million was a lot of money in 1960. If money deflated at the rate that it has in my 65 years, money is worth 10% of what it was then. So, if a millionaire was rich in 1960, you need $10 million in 2024 to be considered rich.” According to him, if you’re still using the idea of $1 million as a benchmark for wealth, you’re behind the times.

Cardone is not the only uber rich guru sounding the alarm about the rapidly rising bar of what’s considered “wealthy.” Andrew Tate, Suzie Orman and others are repeatedly out here warning that even a few million is nothing anymore.

Michael Saylor, Mr. Bitcoin himself, has mentioned how the real rate of inflation is closer to 7%, not the traditionally lower figure of 2–3% that the government likes to quote.

The true rate of inflation is probably unknowable because it’s a constantly shifting figure. But Saylor’s not wrong. Things like college tuition and housing have gone up way more than 2–3% a year over the last few decades. As I’ve written about before, a base model Honda Civic (a popular middle-class car) was $13,000 back in 2004. Now it’s closer to $25k. That same model car, by the way, cost anywhere between $1,850 to about $5,000 back in 1984.

That’s an astounding rate of cost growth. Granted, Civics over the years have seen technical improvements and such that have inflated the costs. But a five-fold rise in 40 years for a basic set of wheels? That’s a lot.

Then you have housing. In some states the average cost of housing went up over 10% just between 2023 and this year. In some states like California such astronomical growth is a given pretty much every year. The Covid pandemic stimulus and money printing only made things worse. Prior to 2020, homes in the suburbs outside Philadelphia, where I went to high school, were routinely $300k-$500k to start. They were obtainable. Now the floor is $500k+, making housing in the area I consider home almost out of reach.

So, yes, the true rate of inflation is certainly higher than 2–3%. Seven percent is probably about right give or take.

Cardone, Tate, Orman, and Saylor are right to warn about the spiraling cost of living. But how useful or worthwhile is it for the average person to try to achieve a figure like $10 million? All this guru cauterwauling is kind of pointless when you consider that the median net worth for retirees is closer to $200,000.

Even if the average retiree net worth is closer to $1.2 million, that number is skewed by the ultra wealthy. And it’s still way, way behind the ten mil figure Cardone quotes.

Rather than being obsessed with making everyone try to get a bigger number, shouldn’t the focus be on what’s causing all this inflation? Why is our standard of living being rapidly eroded away? Why do we accept that tuition will just rise way beyond the rate of inflation? Or that things like real estate will just go up ridiculously higher no matter what? All while our wages stay stagnant relative to the cost of living? Why do we just accept those things as if they were cycles of the moon or river currents? Pure natural phenomena with no human element controlling them.

Just recently the longshoremen went on strike, giving the country a little scare for a few days. One of their demands was a pay rise of 61%, which evidently they’re going to get. Labor rights activists and other pro-union types may celebrate, except this pay rise is only going to trickle down into the cost of unloading stuff at port. This will increase costs for everyone else. Meaning you and me.

The longshoremen are not wrong to seek higher wages. Everyone wants to get paid more and be richer, obviously. But the pressure of all this inflation and the rising cost of living has created a rat race treadmill panic that virtually guarantees that most will lose out anyway.

I read an article on here a few days ago about how the American Dream is dead for Gen-Xers and beyond. And how the Boomers had it best. I left a comment about how most complaints that generations after the Boomers have about being “screwed” are related to the rising cost of tuition and housing. Without those twin cost threats, life becomes way more manageable. In the effort to make things “affordable” to more people, the government intervened in those two areas significantly, via low interest rates and government-backed student loans. That intervention has only driven up those costs way more than they would have otherwise.

Bad government policy and government spending have largely driven inflation. Inflation is not magic. While gurus like Cardone and others are not technically wrong, the focus shouldn’t be on more “toxic wealth accumulation.” That’s an unwinnable quest. The focus should be to rein in reckless government spending and irresponsible central bank lending, which only hurts the very people those institutions say they’re trying to help.

When you’re being told that even if you’re a millionaire you’re “broke” and essentially hopelessly behind the curve, that doesn’t mean it’s time to dig in and “grind harder.” That means it’s time to focus our efforts on examining the messed up system in which we live, and to figure out how to get it to stop screwing us so hard.

Get That Bag By Age 50 Or Get Screwed Hard By The Harsh Corporate World

On By Dean Brooks2 Comments

After 50, ageism, competition, and health concerns become paramount. And that’s if you’re lucky.

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The other night I was rewatching Jackie Brown. Quentin Tarantino’s 1997 low-key urban crime classic based on the book Rum Punch by Elmore Leonard, stars Pam Grier, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert de Niro, and Robert Forster.

After the massive success of ’94s bombastic Pulp Fiction, audiences were left slightly jilted by the quiter, subtler Brown. Less discerning audiences, anyway. Brown is a great film with nuanced performances, a smart script, and a dark, twisty plot. If Pulp is a colorful cocktail, Brown is a whiskey neat.

The film, set in 1995, might have left some viewers sour because of its unsexy themes regarding the occupational and romantic desperations of middle-age. In the story, Jackie Brown (Grier) is a lowly 43-year-old flight attendant working for a “shitty” Mexican airline, making all of $16,000 a year, plus benefits. That’s only $33,000 in today’s money. On the side, she runs cash across the border for Ordell Robbie (Jackson) a smooth-talking low-level arms dealer thug who murders problematic subordinates the way one takes out the trash. When she’s caught by police with one of Robbie’s packages, and two baggies of cocaine, she’s forced into making a deal with the feds. But Jackie Brown concocts her own scheme to turn the tables on everyone. At stake is a half a million in cash.

About mid-way through the film, Jackie sums up her station in life and her motivations for risking everything by setting up her crime boss:

Well, I’ve flown seven million miles. And I’ve been waiting on people almost 20 years. The best job I could get after my bust was Cabo Air, which is the worst job you can get in this industry. I make about sixteen thousand, with retirement benefits that ain’t worth a damn. And now with this arrest hanging over my head, I’m scared. If I lose my job I gotta start all over again, but I got nothing to start over with. I’ll be stuck with whatever I can get. And that shit is scarier than Ordell. (Jackie Brown, 1997)

Goddamn, did that articulate a lot of fears and concerns that many middle-aged people have about work and life and just trying to survive. Jackie Brown might be classified under the crime genre, but it’s a horror story in some ways, too.

There are many people on YouTube 50+ talking about their struggles in the workplace, finding employment and meaning in life. Recently, I found a channel called TheFadingMan, which features a guy in his mid-50s talking about depression, getting laid off, and other older worker issues.

In other videos, TheFadingMan talks about getting the run-around in interviews, job scams, misrepresented job ads, trying to lose weight, getting ghosted by employers, and being broke. Recently, the guy finally got a job after almost a year of looking.

TheFadingMan is brave for putting himself out there and letting everyone know how bad things can get for gray hairs. Especially when you’re overweight, unhealthy, and don’t have particularly useful skills or an advanced degree or connections. People at all ages are struggling to find work these days. But for those over 50 it’s like gravity is three times harder on them.

TheFadingMan is not alone. There are tons of channels like his, run by both men and women, talking about the same things. They are a sobering reminder of a cold, hard truth. The modern corporate system is largely hostile and can be especially harsh toward older workers. While ageism is discriminatory and illegal, that doesn’t mean companies won’t find ways to sneakily work around it. Aging by itself is tough enough. Health problems begin to arise in your 50s, or earlier, depending on your genetics and overall fitness. Life often drags with family responsibilities, debt, expenses, and other things.

Which is why it’s important to try to make enough by 50 to secure the bag for retirement. What does it mean to “secure the bag.” Basically, it’s making enough to likely secure a comfortable retirement with the help of compound interest. Even if you’ve only saved up $100,000 in retirement accounts and investments by 50, if that compounds at 10% a year, that will grow to over $400,000 by the time you turn 65 without further contributions. Saving $200,000 by 50 means you’d have over $800,000 by 65. That combined with Social Security will likely keep your head above water.

Everyone means to keep contributing and investing, of course. But the reality is that after age 50 you might not have a choice. Your employment prospects might become shaky and unreliable. You might suddenly develop health problems. You might have to start over after a divorce. Or you simply might lose interest in a career and want to try something else. There are a number of disasters and disruptions that can occur as you get older.

Even though you may not have to finagle a bag filled with $500,000 like Jackie Brown does in the movie, you will have to come up with a scrappy masterplan to survive. You’ll have to outwit your own metaphorical Ordell Robbie.

Take advantage of your youth and your prime working years to set yourself up best not just for retirement, but when you’re older, and when employment and living itself might become a slog. Even if you’re one of the few who lands a dream job or obtains a high status gig, that doesn’t mean you can’t be knocked off your lofty perch with one stroke of a manager’s pen. It’s tough out there at any age. But old age, as Samuel L. Jackson might say, can be a real motherfucker.

What the Hell is Suze Orman Smoking?

On By Dean BrooksLeave a comment

Two million dollars is “pennies” according to the finance guru.

“Suze Orman.” Created by author with Midjourney.

Did you know you need anywhere from $5 million to $10 million to comfortably retire early? That’s according to Suze Orman, who spoke on the “Afford Anything” podcast.

She goes on to say:

“If you have $20 [million], $40 [million], $50 [million] or $100 million, be like me, okay. If you have that kind of money and you want to retire, fine.”

To which I have to politely ask of the lady with the ultimate “Can I speak to the manager?” haircut, what the hell is she smoking?

$20 million to retire early???

Are we retiring in a downtown Manhattan loft with a personal limo chauffeur service and a live-in butler named Yeevis? Are we settling down for the golden years in a gated mansion in Beverly Hills, with a private helicopter pad to avoid downtown rush hour traffic?

You have to be in the top 1% of wealth to buy a cheap condo in Tampa, FL and play shuffleboard in a pair of loafers? What kind of unexpected expenses might a senior citizen run into that they’d NEED $20 million plus for? A full T-Rex skeleton that’s suddenly become available on the black market? A Blue Origin trip to the moon? A cybernetic sex robot? A 24K gold toilet?

“A retirement necessity.” Made with Midjourney by the author.

Statistically, the bottom 99% cannot achieve $10 million or more by retirement. So Orman is basically saying to work until you die.

My issue here is not about working hard to become wealthy. Nor is this about hating the rich. I’m all about grinding to become Mr. Monopoly.

What I’m not about though is what I’d call toxic wealth accumulation due to uncertainty paranoia. A mindset rooted in chronic anxiety. Making money and building wealth should be an empowering process. Not one you do out of fear the sky is going to fall on you if you don’t have “enough.”

Interestingly, some in the finance community agree with Orman. The Yahoo Finance articles states:

This idea resonates with a segment of the financial community that sees the wisdom in ensuring a substantial financial buffer to address uncertainties in retirement, especially given potential long-term trends such as increasing health care costs and ongoing economic fluctuations.

I get it. Twenty-plus years of retirement is a long time. Anything could happen. A civil war. Meteor strike. Or just a good old-fashioned $58,000 heart surgery.

But how much calamity can one reasonably prepare for that justifies sacrificing your entire life working? Wealthy Cubans were turned into paupers overnight when Castro took over the country. All of John Jacob Astor IV’s millions couldn’t save him from the sinking on the Titanic.

Say you do get to $10 million or $20 million by the time you’re 85, and you’re finally ready for an Orman-approved retirement. So what? You’re fucking old. How much life do you even have left? What are you going to do then, climb Mount Everest? Yeah, right. You’re going to sit at home, watch TV, and bitch about politics like everyone else. You know how much that costs to do? Well, NOT $10 million, that’s for sure.

These kinds of click-baity pronouncements by Orman and others are meant to be “helpful.” Except they really come across more like hyperbolic sales talk from people trying to sell a pyramid scheme.

I’m all about chasing the money dragon to a reasonable extent. If you’re someone with a worthwhile career that’s put you on the path to the top percentile, great. CEO, Instagram influencer, entrepreneur, elite assassin, by all means keep riding that carousel. But if you’re like most, and slaving away at Dipshit, Inc., dont think you’ve got work till you drop just because Suze “Karen Hair” Orman says so. Go live your life.